by Loui Tucker
This article appeared originally in the April 1997 issue of Let's Dance!
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Okay,
so you've talked a friend into going to a dance class with you. Before dinner
you demonstrated some of the basic steps -- grapevine, cherkassiya, Yemenite.
You shown them how to hold hands in a circle (right palm in, left palm out,
thumbs free). You talked to them about basic dance etiquette:
* If you don't know a circle or line dance,
stand behind the dancers and follow.
* If you don't know a couple dance,
dance in the outer-most circle of dancers.
* Line dances usually move to the
right, so join a line on the left.
Now, over dinner, it's time to talk
about those unspoken "facts of life" in the dance community that will
sometimes take beginners by surprise.
"Oh, I Have to do This Dance! You are in the midst of an interesting conversation and the face you're
looking at suddenly becomes very alert, like a dog that tips its head and perks
up its ears at an unusual sound. The person you've been talking to turns and
dances away.
Tell your beginner friend not to become
alarmed. This is an instance when the normal rules of etiquette are suspended.
Remind them that Israeli dancing is unlike ballroom dancing or nightclub dancing
where you can do any dance to any piece of music that fits that rhythm. In Israeli
dancing Dance A is done to Music A andDance B is done to Music B. If a favorite
dance comes on, you rarely get a second chance later in the evening; it's a
case of "Dance it now or not at all." Sometimes the dancer who left
in the middle of the conversation will come back and pick up the conversation
where you left off. Sometimes they won't. Don't take it personally.
Can a Woman Ask a Man to Dance? In some social situations this may be viewed as inappropriate. In Israeli
dancing, it's accepted and, in some cases, expected. If a beginning dancer of
either gender wants to avoid the direct rejection that can come as a reply to
"Would you like to dance?" a handy alternative is "Do you know
this dance?" A negative response to this question does not, however, stop
the invitee from suddenly remembering the dance and waltzing off with another
partner -- which brings up the next point.
Rude Dancers, Reserved Dancers. Your beginner friend gets up the courage to ask someone to dance. That someone
declines. Twenty seconds later your friend sees them on the dance floor with
someone else.
Tell your beginner friend that there
are rude people in this world and some of those rude people also dance. Those
people probably also run stop signs and don't write thank-you notes either.
Not all dancers are gracious and well-mannered, and we can't screen everyone
before allowing them on the dance floor. And we don't have Etiquette Police
who write citations or send offending dancers to the penalty box.
Beginners can save themselves from
this special kind of pain by watching for a while who dances with whom. There
are couples who only dance with each other. There are also couples who promise
that "No matter what, we will always dance Dance X together!"
It is ironic that some beginners forget how this rejection feels when they become
proficient dancers and start rejecting the next generation of beginning dancers.
Dancing with Beginners. A trio
of axioms revolve around beginning dancers:
(1) Some experienced dancers will
dance with beginners because they are beginners.
(2) Some experienced dancers will
not dance with beginners because they are beginners.
(3) Once a beginner is no longer a
beginner, the selection of people to dance with changes. Sometimes (but not
always) this change is positive.
In addition to individual dancers
welcoming or not welcoming beginners, different dance groups are more or less
accepting, and beginners should not assume that all groups are equal. Suggest
to a beginner that, if their first encounter with the dance scene proves to
be less than warm and friendly, they should not give up, but should try another
group.
The Dance Floor Is for Dancing. Perhaps at a nightclub you can linger on the dance floor, finish your conversation,
decide whether to return to your own table or join your partner's. Not so in
Israeli dancing! A slow couple dance can give way to a fast-paced circle dance
in the span of 4 seconds. Beginners are often vociferously admonished to get
off the dance floor by a line of dancers that must swerve to avoid them.
Beginners often think experienced
dancers who almost run them over or yell at them to get off the floor are being
impolite. Tell your friend that this loud reproach may appear to be inconsiderate,
but is really for the safety of all dancers. Beginners should watch to see the
area the line or circle of dancers appears to be using and walk outside that
area to talk. Keep an eye on the dancers for sudden direction changes and expansion
of the circle.
Ah, That Rich Aroma! Talk about
garlic. Talk about onions. Beginners sometimes equate Israeli dancing with an
exercise program instead of dancing. In an exercise program or aerobics class,
you're pretty much by yourself on the floor, so your breath is rarely any concern.
In Israeli dancing there are lots of line dances and circle dances, but you're
also going to be breathing in your partner's face during the couple dances and
garlic/onion breath is not pleasant.
On the flip side, some beginners worry
too much about body odor and apply the wrong solution to this problem. Specifically,
they fear they will offend when they sweat and overcompensate by applying too
much perfume or cologne. They may not realize that warming the body through
exercise will over activate the perfume/cologne and that can also be offensive.
Rings On Your Fingers, Bells on
Your Toes. Beginners may not be aware that jewelry, particularly large rings,
can be uncomfortable -- both to the wearer when their hand is squeezed firmly,
and to the other dancers if the ring scratches bare skin or catches on clothing.
Beginners may also hear the word "dance" and envision a certain type
of footwear -- heels for women, dress shoes for men. Talk about appropriate
jewelry, clothing, and footwear.
Beginning dancers can be fragile and
the more we can do to ease their way into our community, the better off our
community will be.
P.S. If any experienced dancers saw
some of their own behaviors described in this article, and modify their behavior
accordingly, our dance community will receive an additional benefit.